


What I Would Do

by The_Dream_Team



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Emotions, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Fem!Jily February, Femslash February, Girls Kissing, Realization, fem!Jily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:15:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29229843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Dream_Team/pseuds/The_Dream_Team
Summary: “Evans, you drive me crazy, you know that? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, what I would do if you started flying for the other team…”*Now updated with a follow-up chapter*
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 30
Kudos: 51
Collections: Fem! Jily





	1. What I Would Do

**Author's Note:**

> Happy fem!jily February everyone!

“And if you come anywhere within _spitting_ distance of my friends again, you’ll lose a lot more than your voice, _Mulciber_.” 

Lily Evans stared down the Slytherin whose ability to speak she’d stolen with a well-practiced Silencing Charm. Unable to spit out anymore foul language, Mulciber narrowed his eyes and stormed off towards the dungeons, accepting defeat. She turned to Mary and gave her a small smile. That problem was taken care of. For now, at least. 

“Oh, that was marvelous!” came a clear, familiar voice from across the corridor. “Evans, you’re one helluva witch, have I told you that yet today?” Jamie Potter grinned at Lily, one hand clutching her stupid stolen snitch and another combing through her tangle of wild curls. Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew followed close behind her, as they always did. She playfully swatted Sirius’ shoulder and tugged at her shirt collar. “Padfoot, you know I can’t resist a girl who stands up against those bastard Death Eaters-in-training.” Sirius barked out a laugh.

Lily rolled her eyes. “Knock it off, Potter, or you’ll be next on my hit-list.”

Jamie’s grin only broadened. “Evans, you drive me crazy, you know that? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, _what I would do_ if you started flying for the other team…”

As Jamie and her posse sauntered off down the hall, Mary sighed. 

“It must be hard for her,” she said softly.

“Hard for who, Potter?” asked Lily in disbelief. 

“Yes, _Jamie,_ ” said Mary. “Having those kinds of unrequited feelings seeing as she’s the only girl here who… y’know.”

Lily’s mouth gaped open. “Mary! There are no _feelings_ involved. Potter just can’t let go of an old joke.”

Mary raised her eyebrows. “If you say so.”

Unbelievable. Lily crossed her arms and furrowed her brow the rest of the way to the Library. _Unrequited feelings my arse,_ she thought with a huff. Potter had been acting out the same schtick for years. She loved boasting about her deep, dramatic attraction towards Lily (most often in public places) and calling Lily’s _preferences_ into question. It made her uneasy, and Potter knew it. Jamie liked rileing her up. 

Of course, she had to admit it hadn’t started as a joke. Their third year, during a particularly rowdy Herbology lesson, Lily and Jamie got into a row over the Leaping Toadstools they were meant to be picking in the forest. After some bickering over who would be in charge of catching the mushrooms and a bit of shoving back and forth, Lily eventually threatened Jamie with a Bat-Bogey hex if she kept getting in her way. 

Before she could stop herself, in front of the entire class, Jamie practically shouted, “Bloody hell, Evans, _what I would do_ if only you were into girls.”

The heat burned so deeply on Lily’s cheeks that day, sometimes she still felt the licks of fire teasing her skin nearly four years later. The panic. The embarrassment. The fear. It all boiled up from her knotted stomach and racing heart, presenting as a disgusted expression that could only be painful for the receiving end. 

Jamie’s usually confident smirk had been replaced with a gaping mouth and... _were those tears welling in her eyes?_

After the initial shock, Lily tried softening her expression, but the damage was done. In an instant, Jamie swiped a hand under her glasses, ran another through her fringe, and put on a forced lopsided grin. “So, er, you’ll keep me updated if anything changes, yeah?”

She let out a laugh, looking for the boys to back her up. They chuckled along with her the best they could while Jamie shrugged to the class and went back to their Toadstools, avoiding Lily’s eye for the rest of the lesson. 

A stormcloud of guilt brewed in Lily’s chest the following weeks. Jamie had taken to staying in the boy’s dorm to avoid any kind of contact with her and the other girls. Sirius had stepped up, becoming extra protective of her and sending daggers at anyone who dared to even glance in Jaimie’s direction. Lily tried getting her alone to apologize for weeks before eventually cornering her and Remus one day after Defense Against the Dark Arts. 

“Potter,” said Lily, breathless as she chased her down the hallway, “please, I wanted to talk to you.”

Jamie spun around with a dazzling smile. “Evans! Coming to tell me you’ve finally changed your mind?” 

The flirtatious wink sent Lily over the edge, her planned speech quickly abandoned. “Oh, you’re impossible!”

“Don’t worry, love,” Jamie casually laughed, “take your time, I can wait.”

Completely speechless and beyond flustered, Lily had no choice but to storm away. She was thirteen and emotional, and years away from controlling the way her feelings manifested themselves. So for the following weeks (and then years) as Jaimie kept up the teasing, Lily responded emphatically with thunderous huffs and exaggerated scoffs. 

By seventh year, their routine became so practiced, Lily barely noticed her heart skip anymore when Jamie shot off her endless string of compliments. Barely flinched when Potter suggested there could be a question of Lily’s tastes.

There _weren’t_ any questions. 

She didn’t _fancy_ girls.

Had there been close calls through the years? Sure. 

On a warm spring day down by the lake, when Dorcas placed an innocent hand on Lily’s thigh while laughing at a dumb joke, had Lily’s stomach somersaulted in a not-totally-unpleasant way? Yes. Had she spent the next few months secretly hoping it would happen again? Possibly. 

Had there been times where Lily caught her eyes wandering to the hems of skirts or lingering on Jaimie’s impossibly long eyelashes, only magnified by those stupid, round wire-rimmed lenses? It didn’t matter. 

Those moments weren’t _real._ They never formed as full sentences in her head, mentally blocked before they took shape. The heat on her leg left behind from Dorcas’s touch didn’t mean anything if she didn’t give it a name. Ideas could float untethered around her mind as long as they never met the ground. 

The thoughts she had about boys were real. Shared giggles with Mary about Sirius Black’s sharp jawline or Amos Diggory’s playful charm flowed with ease. Her crush on Remus Lupin during their fourth year terrified her to admit out loud, but there had never been a question about whether she was allowed to let her imagination run wild over his floppy sandy hair and pleasant quiet smile. Boys were easy. 

The thought of liking girls never would have crossed her mind if Jamie hadn’t said those words to her in Herbology all those years ago. Lily hadn’t even known _that_ was an option before. Perhaps if Jamie had kept her mouth shut, if she hadn’t spent the next four years poking and prodding at Lily’s _very secure sexuality,_ then Lily would never have found herself repeating the whispered phrase in her mind, 

_Please don’t let me fancy girls._ _Please, please don’t let me fancy girls._

_***_

On one unusually warm and breezy day in March, Professor Slughorn called for Lily to stay behind for a moment after Potions. She waved on her friends, promising to meet them at the Great Hall later for lunch, and happily made her way to the front of the classroom. 

“Miss Evans!” boomed Slughorn. “I had a favor to ask of you if you’d be up to it.”

“Of course,” she said. The Potions Professor had always been one of her biggest supporters at Hogwarts and she rarely passed up an opportunity to lend a hand.

“You see, I’ve completely run out of Flobberworm Mucus and I’ve got a lesson on Sleeping Draughts for my first years this afternoon.” He checked his watch and shook his head as a group of fourth years started parading into the dungeons. “And as you can see, I’ve got classes back to back until then! My dear, would you mind running down to Pippen’s Apothecary during your lunch break? I can write you a note and let Minerva know you’ll be popping down to Hogsmead for just a moment…”

“I’d be more than happy to,” said Lily, eager to get outside and stretch her legs. The prospect of getting to see the little village outside of the usually scheduled trips thrilled her. 

“Wonderful!” said Slughorn, summoning a piece of parchment and adding his signature in a swooping, elegant script. “A tankard of mucus should do, and of course they know where to bill it to.”

Lily grabbed the note with a grin and spun on her heel to head out the door, practically skipping on her way out. 

The moment she stepped outside the castle, her lungs filled with a humid air, fresh from the previous night’s rain. Puddles littered the pathways, serving as an extra reminder to enjoy the sunny weather when it managed to crash through the otherwise constant cover of clouds. With a squeal of excitement, Lily shrugged off her robes and rolled up her sleeves, letting the warm breeze wash over her skin and whip through her hair. 

A rare taste of independence played on Lily’s lips, curling up the corners into a wide smile. She held onto the precious moment alone, briskly walking towards the village as she imagined what life outside of Hogwarts had in store for her. Adulthood approached as quickly as the little shops and bustling pathways of Hogsmeade Village, and soon she reached her destination.

Faint, tinkling bells announced Lily’s arrival as she stepped through the front door of Pippen’s Apothecary. Sunlight poured through the large front windows, soaking the rows of shelves with a golden glow. Bundles of herbs, jars of multi-colored liquids, and barrels of crystals lined the shop’s walls and overflowed into its hallways. And towards the front of the store, a knobly old man in a well-worn cloak stroked a mewing black cat with round, yellow eyes.

“Welcome to Pippens,” he smiled. “It’s not a Hogwarts weekend, is it?”

Lily ignored the disappointed pang of being recognized as a student and approached the front counter. “No, sir, it’s a tuesday,” she said. “I’ve just been sent by Professor Slughorn to pick up a tankard of Flobberworm Mucus.”

“Ah, of course,” said the man, squinting down at Lily’s note. “Old Horace runs through that mucus faster than a unicorn during a solar eclipse.”

She let the unfamiliar metaphor fall to the side with a chuckle and watched the shopkeeper shuffle back into his storage closet. The cat nudged Lily’s arm with a soft meow, unflinching towards the clanking and bumping sounds of the man pouring a thick liquid into a pint-sized container.

“I’ve put Horace’s invoice in the bag here,” said the man, handing over a canvas tote with the mucus lovingly wrapped up inside. “He knows where to find me!”

Lily thanked him with and grin and gave the cat another scratch behind the ears before turning to leave. 

“Now you didn’t hear this from me,” called the man as Lily was halfway out the door, “but Fortescue’s brought his ice cream cart out for the first warm day of the year, and I hear he’s handing out free samples.” He sent a cheery wink in her direction.

“Oh, thank you, sir!” Lily beamed and she waved goodbye.

Ice cream sounded lovely. 

The cart wasn’t hard to find, as a small crowd of villagers had lined up to take advantage of Fortescue’s deal. The giddiness of being surrounded by adults in the real world fluttered back as Lily queued with other shopkeeps on their lunch breaks and locals enjoying an afternoon on the streets. When it came her turn to order, she received a generous sample of the mint chocolate chip and a sweet smile from Florean Fortescue himself. 

She couldn’t dream up a more perfect afternoon. Lily walked slowly through the streets of Hogsmeade, determined to drink in as much of the gorgeous day as possible. The trees, just starting to bud, swayed back and forth rhythmically, and the grass, freshly watered, still smelled like a new morning’s dew. She watched the witches and wizards stroll down the pathways. A short man with a top hat chased after a yappy dog while a large wizard peered down at his comically small pocket watch, and on a bench across the street from where she stood, two witches took turns sharing an ice cream cone. 

Lily’s heart skipped a beat as her eyes locked onto the women sitting together on the bench. They looked to be in their late twenties or possibly early thirties. Both wore fashionable cloaks with trendy hairstyles and one of the women was reading a well-loved book in between licks of chocolate ice cream, her feet propped up on the bench, and her shoulder leaning against the other woman. A warmth flooded Lily’s chest as her heartrate quickened watching the pair, shocked by how lovely she found the simple scene. 

Lily watched as the reading witch, not taking her eyes from her book, angled her head to ask for another bite of ice cream, but instead of bringing the cone to her lips as she had done before, the other woman surprised her with a quick kiss. The overwhelming flood of emotions burst from Lily’s chest in a gasp.

She wanted what she saw before her. She wanted the lazy afternoon sitting on a bench, curled up with a book and an ice cream cone and a _girl to lean against._

Her mind raced with thoughts crashing to the ground with such force that their echos reverberated through her entire body, making her knees week and hands tremble. Every blurry idea in her head racked into focus, each half formulated sentence allowed itself to be completed with an exclamation point. Lily stared ahead at the bench where the possibilities of her future blew open like a firework spreading across the night sky. 

After what felt like ages of watching the two witches, Lily finally peeled her gaze away and forced herself to make her way back to Hogwarts. Every step felt like walking on clouds as she practically floated up the road towards the castle. That is until she came face to face with another girl wearing a school uniform and a stupidly happy grin on her face.

“Potter?”

“Evans?”

Jamie had appeared in front of her out of thin air.

“What are you doing at Hogsmeade?” asked Lily, praying her shaking voice wasn’t too obvious. She hadn’t been prepared to see Jaimie while her emotions were this heightened. The pounding of her heart beat into her eardrums and threatened to leap out her throat. Jamie wore her usual crooked smile, so effortless on her soft features, mirrored perfectly in those mischievous hazel eyes. 

“I could ask you the same question,” said Jamie, cocking an eyebrow. That feeling of anger Lily associated with Potter and her teasing bubbled up to the surface. But it wasn’t _anger_ she felt. It was fear. A deep fear of how Jamie’s playful jokes made her stomach flutter and her cheeks blush. And now that Lily’s image of herself grew clearer in her mind’s eye with every passing moment, she no longer had the capacity to bottle up and explain away the fear she felt when looking at Jaimie Potter, who had always made her feel this way. 

Feeling so desperately alive, she had to do something.

“I’m running an errand for Professor Slughorn,” she said calmly, “but I can assume _you_ don’t have an excuse to be outside the castle.”

“Ah, you caught me, Evans,” said Jamie with a chuckle. “Look, I was just popping down to Honeydukes to pick Remus up his favorite chocolate bars. I could’ve taken the tunnel- and I probably should’ve considering our little run-in here- but it’s such a lovely day that I said _screw it_ and walked the path instead.” She shrugged her shoulders, not looking too disappointed about being discovered.

Lily narrowed her eyes and put all of her efforts into provoking Jamie. “Well, maybe I should just say _screw it_ and give you a month's worth of detentions, Potter.”

It worked. Jamie’s eyes widened like saucers and her smirk grew into a proper grin. “Oh, Evans, stop that, you’re making me blush! Merlin, _what I would do_ if you ever switched your fancies.”

Jamie had walked right into her trap. With a deep breath and a pointed stare, trying to convey every feeling exploding through her body, Lily responded, “What _would_ you do?”

Jamie froze, clearly never expecting a reply to the scenario she so often suggested. 

Lily ignored the flush spreading across her face and continued. “What would you do if I told you I fancied _girls._ If I fancied _you._ ” Her heart thudded so painfully against her chest, she thought she might be sick. 

Jamie stood slackjawed, not breaking eye contact, like a deer in headlights. The girl who always had a quick comeback or a smart retort for every situation had been rendered speechless. The painful reality that Jamie’s previous words had no intent of action behind them crashed over Lily like a wave breaking in the middle of an ocean storm. And now the drops of saltwater spilled over, stinging the corners of her eyes. 

“Enjoy your time in the village, Potter,” she said softly as she turned away from Jamie, escaping the nightmare as quickly as possible. 

The ground, which had felt weightless only a moment ago, became hard and cruel under her feet as she trudged back up the path to the castle. How could she be so stupid? Why did she allow her bursting adrenalin to make her do something so reckless?

“Evans!” Jamie shouted from behind, but Lily wouldn’t turn around, couldn’t let Potter see the tears welling in her eyes. “Lily, wait!”

A hand clutched Lily’s wrist and tugged back hard, spinning her whole body around in a flash. Two gentle palms grasped the side of her head and cupped her cheek while hazel eyes bore into her own. Jamie Potter’s face was inches from her own, dazed and flustered and looking for a clue.

Lily responded instinctually with the only clue Jamie needed. A laughing smile of uncontainable joy. 

Jamie crashed forward, meeting Lily’s lips in an exhilarating kiss that set her nerve endings on fire. Soft and firm, the years of pent up emotion spilled between their mouths and hands and bodies as they drew closer to one another. Lily ran her fingers through Jamie’s wonderful hair and bumped her adorable wire-rimmed glasses with her nose. She never could have known how good this would feel. 

When they finally came up for air, Jamie’s face glowed with shock and happiness under the sunlight, her cheeks flushed and eyes unbelieving. Lily couldn’t help but pull her into a tight embrace and commit the feeling of her to memory, never wanting to live in the dark ever again. 

“Hey, Jamie?” Lily asked into the girl’s shoulder. “Do you want to go get ice cream with me?”

Jamie tightened the hug, nearly suffocating Lily in the best possible way. “Oh, Evans, _what I would do_ to get ice cream with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this fluffy one-shot :)
> 
> You can find me on tumblr @the-dream-team and make sure you check out @thejilyship for more fem!jily February goodness!


	2. I Would Do Anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist writing a follow up for these two :)

Lily Evans had threatened Jamie Potter with detention more times than she could count, but Jamie never got tired of Lily’s narrowed eyes and assertive tone. Having been raised an only child, with parents so doting some may consider her borderline spoiled, Jamie found being put in her place unbelievably exhilarating. And no one put her in her place quite as Lily Evans did.

So, when Evans caught her sneaking into Hogsmeade on that glorious afternoon in March, and tried intimidating her with a month’s worth of detentions, Jamie couldn’t help but fall in love with her a little more. 

The crush was getting absurd at this point. As Sirius liked to ask over and over again, how long could a girl pine over her straight dormmate before exploding from the agonizing pain of unattainable attraction? 

Jamie suspected she already had exploded that day in Herbology third year, when she inadvertently admitted her feelings for Lily after two years of finding her to be the most beautiful and charming and _combative_ girl she ever had the pleasure of knowing. Ever since then, she reckoned she existed only as the remaining wayward particles of who Jamie Potter once was, floating through space, inexplicably drawn to the fiery red-head who couldn’t get away from her fast enough.

So, when Lily pulled out the threat of detentions, and Jamie’s heart swelled with admiration, she expressed her hopeless emotions the same way she always had, with a joke.

“Oh, Evans, stop that, you’re making me blush! Merlin, what I would do if you ever switched your fancies.”

It was a self-deprecating joke, Jamie’s go-to whenever Lily was involved. The actual pain of Lily’s undeniable disinterest hit a little too hard, so creating a running gag out of Jamie’s desperation for something so impossible became her only response. 

Lily gave her a hard stare. “What _would_ you do?” 

What would she do? If Lily Evans ever so much as blinked at the idea of flying for the other team? Jamie would snog her senseless. But that couldn’t possibly be what she meant. Lily was just being argumentative, as per usual. There was no way she would ever-

“What would you do if I told you I fancied _girls._ If I fancied _you._ ”

Something in Jamie’s brain short-circuited. Words failed her. Her jaw dropped as any form of cognitive thinking skills abandoned her in her hour of need. _If I fancied you_ echoed in her ears, teasing her as though Lily could possibly mean what Jaimie wanted her to. The word “if” smirked at her, jeered at the fleeting hope leaping in her chest.

But then the welling tears in Lily’s brilliant green eyes set off alarm bells in Jamie’s brain and reality reassembled itself. 

“Enjoy your time in the village, Potter,” said Lily with a crushed sadness that Jamie was all too familiar with. Rejection. Before she could say a word in response, Lily turned her back and started walking towards the castle. 

Instinct kicked in and Jamie let her swirling thoughts fall to the side as she chased Lily up the path. “Evans!” she shouted. “Lily, wait!” 

Without considering the consequences of being mistaken, Jamie reached out and grabbed Lily’s wrist, spinning her around to face her. Only when her hands found Lily’s cheeks and her impulse begged her to close the already small gap between them, did Jamie hesitate. What she wanted to do next couldn’t be taken back. She searched Lily’s face, begging for a sign that she wasn’t completely misreading the moment.

A beautiful smile burst from Lily’s lips and Jamie lunged forward, meeting those perfect lips with her own. Every cell in her body pulsed in rhythm with her soaring heart and Jamie felt a heat she’d never known before burst from her chest. The lost particles, once aimless and devoid of hope, now sprang back together, making Jamie whole once again. 

It was everything she’d ever wanted and more. A miracle. 

She pulled Lily closer and nearly squealed from joy as Lily’s fingers ran through her hair and found the nape of her neck. Those soft hands she had daydreamed about holding for years, now touched Jamie’s skin and affected her in a way more intoxicating than any poison could ever be. She deepened the kiss, desperate for the wonderful girl who drove her mad with desire for all those years. The satisfaction knew no bounds.

They finally broke apart for breath, but just as Jamie began missing the warmth of Lily’s body against her own, Lily pulled her in for a hug. 

“Hey Jamie,” she asked, breathless. “Do you want to get ice cream with me?”

Jamie laughed, tightening the hug, “Oh, Evans, _what I would do_ to get ice cream with you.”

She took a step back, smiling so broadly Jamie couldn’t help but do the same. She reached out and grabbed Lily’s hand, interlacing their fingers, worried that if they weren’t touching for even a moment, she might lose her. Kissing Lily, touching Lily, being with Lily… it was too good to be true. 

They walked towards the center of town, sharing shy glances that felt so different from the passionate storm of kissing that had just taken place. Different, but exciting. There was something so sweet about the blush on Lily’s cheeks and the timid way she looked at their hands as they moved through the streets and towards the ice cream cart parked the town square. 

“Welcome back, miss,” said the server to Lily, and Jamie’s heart soared as her blush deepened. 

“It was so good, I had to come back for more,” she laughed. 

Jamie reached into her pocket and pulled out her coins, dropping them onto the cart. “We’ll take whatever the young lady would like,” she grinned proudly.

“Could we please get a mint chocolate chip cone… to share?” she asked with a forced confidence that Jamie found remarkably endearing.

The man nodded and quickly produced a perfectly scooped cone, which Lily graciously accepted before leading Jamie towards a bench. They sat down next to each other, their legs touching lightly. Lily took a lick of the ice cream and handed it to Jamie.

Jamie gladly took the cone, her heart leaping as their fingers touched during the transaction. She looked at the ice cream and went for a taste, suddenly aware of where Lily’s tongue had been before on the cold treat. When she looked back up at Lily, bliss flashing across those emerald eyes, Jamie couldn’t fathom why they had ever stopped kissing in the first place. She grabbed Lily’s face, pulling her forward and meeting her impossibly soft lips once more, consumed by the sweetness that had nothing to do with the ice cream.

“How long have you known?” breathed Jamie when they came apart. 

Lily grabbed the ice cream cone and took a bite. “About fifteen minutes now.”

“Fifteen- are you sure?” stuttered Jamie, suddenly nervous. “I mean, are you sure you know you like me? Are you sure you like girls?” 

Lily looked at her feet, embarrassed. “I’m sure,” she said, her voice unfaltering. “Especially after all the… you know.” She turned bright red.

“After all the snogging?” said Jamie with a grin, reveling at the moment, unable to resist a bit of teasing. 

“Stop it,” said Lily with a playful shove, “you’re impossible.”

“I’ll never stop,” said Jamie. She leaned over and planted a kiss on Lily’s cheek _because she could_ and reveled in the way Lily failed to hide her smile. “I’m so happy I think I might be dreaming.”

“Really?” asked Lily, tilting her head. 

“Evans, you must be kidding me,” said Jamie with a laugh. “I haven’t been subtle about how I’ve felt about you all these years.”

“I assumed you were joking.”

“Well, that’s silly.”

“I have feelings about you too,” said Lily, looking up at Jamie, the sunlight playing in her hair like drops of liquid gold sliding down a waterfall.

“Only good ones I hope,” Jamie said, unable to help herself. Lily rolled her eyes in such a _Lily Evans way_ that Jamie felt like she was flying. No, this was better than flying. This was falling. 

“Oh, shoot,” said Lily suddenly, glancing at her watch. “The mucus!”

“Mucus?”

“Yes, the mucus, I’m supposed to get this back to Professor Slughorn, he needs it for his lesson.” She gestured at the bag she had over her shoulder. 

“Well, lucky for you, I know a shortcut to the castle.” Jamie winked and grabbed hold of Lily’s hand, tugging her from the bench and leading them both to Honeydukes. 

Once they made it across the street from the sweet shop, Jamie reached into her messenger back and pulled out her invisibility cloak. “We’re gonna need this,” she said as she draped the fabric over her’s and Lily’s heads. Lily’s eyes grew wide as she realized they had disappeared to the world. 

“This is crazy,” she whispered, but Jamie silenced her with a kiss.

“There’s plenty of time to explain later,” she grinned. 

They snuck through the front door of Honeydukes, making sure not to set off the welcoming bell, and tip-toed through the stacks of candy. Jamie spotted Remus’ favorite chocolate (the entire reason for her trip to Hogsmeade in the first place) and snagged a few bars as they passed, leaving a few coins behind on the shelf.

Lily watched in awe at Jamie’s comfort making her way through the store, and Jamie couldn’t help but show off by grabbing a lollipop from a rotating stand handing it to her with a smirk. Lily rolled her eyes again, but a smile still played on the corners of her mouth, so Jamie flipped another coin onto a countertop and led her smoothly to cellar stairs. 

In a minute, they had slipped through the secret passageway undetected and found themselves in the tunnel leading back to the school. She slid the invisibility cloak off and shoved it back in her bag, reaching out once more for Lily’s hand. 

But she only met air. Lily stood next to her silently, staring at her outstretched hand. 

“What’s wrong?” asked Jamie, feeling her heart drop into her stomach. 

Lily’s eyes shifted back and forth between Jamie and the end of the tunnel. She took a step towards Jamie, placed her hands on the sides of Jamie’s face, and tenderly kissed her. It felt like all the air had been sucked out of her lungs in the best way possible. 

When they broke apart, Lily took a deep breath. “I’m scared.”

Of course. She was scared. 

What happened between them, happened in the outside world. Away from the school, away from their friends and classmates, away from their lives. No one in Hogsmeade batted an eye at her kissing another girl in the streets. They didn’t have any preconceived notions about who she was and who she was supposed to be with. Something heavy began weighing on Jamie’s heart, begging her to come up with a joke, downplay her feelings, save herself from what looked like inevitable heartache. 

“That’s okay,” she whispered, reaching out to caress Lily’s cheek, stroking her smooth skin with her thumb and willing time to slow down and allow Jamie to live in whatever small moments with Lily she had left. “It is scary. We don’t have to be… anything… if you can’t right now. Or ever.”

“No!” said Lily, reaching up to lay her hand on top of Jamie’s. “I want to be something.”

Jamie exhaled a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “Oh, thank Merlin.”

“Do you think we could keep this between us? For now?” Lily looked up at her with shame in her eyes. Shame that Jamie wanted to crush away into nothingness. 

“Of course,” she said, “I won’t tell a soul. Not even Sirius.”

“You would do that?”

“I would do anything for you.” Jamie hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but it was too late. It was the truth. 

Lily looked like she might cry again, but there was a beautiful smile on her face. She leaned in, slowly, and pressed her lips against Jamies with such tenderness, she could feel how much Jamie’s words had meant to her. 

“Thank you,” said Lily with a final hug before they walked back to the castle, hand in hand.   
  


For weeks, Jamie lived on cloud nine. She spent her days exchanging knowing glances with Lily across classrooms and crowded corridors and her afternoons sneaking off to hidden sections of the library and broom closets. At night, she lay awake, just a four-poster bed away from the girl who owned her entire heart and being and dreamed of running her hands through her hair and making her laugh.

Sirius complained that Jamie seemed distracted, Remus questioned her uncontrollable smiling, and Peter wondered why she stopped having the time to help him with his Charms essays, but Jamie just laughed them off. She had kept secrets _for_ them before, now she could keep one secret _from_ them. 

Especially when that secret made her so damn happy.

The feeling of being wanted by another person in the same way she wanted them, was incomparable. And for that person to be Lily Evans? She didn’t know how she had become so lucky. Keeping their secret was easy, as easy as loving Lily. And she did love her. She always had. And every minute she spent kissing and talking and teasing with Lily, her love grew more ferocious. 

Jamie was scared of bursting. She had exploded once before, and that couldn’t happen again. 

So, when Mulciber approached Lily one morning in the Great Hall, spewing disgusting words and hateful rhetoric, Jamie restrained herself. 

Not completely, of course.

“Why don’t you piss off, Mulciber,” called Jamie from down the table, making sure to avoid Lily’s eye. 

“Oh yeah, Potter?” sneered the Slytherin. “What are you gonna do? Throw your bodyguards at me?” He motioned at Sirius and Remus, who both jumped up at the provocation. Jamie stood up, too, and motioned for her friends to retreat. 

“No, I don’t need them,” she chuckled, “I’ve learned a few things from Evans about how to deal with you.” Jamie whipped out her wand and in a flash, struck Mulciber with a silencing charm. He grunted but pulled out his own wand to cast the counterspell.

“How dare you, Potter!” Mulciber shouted, fully taking his attention away from Lily, who stared at Jamie with concern. She sent her back a smile, trying to convey a sense of confidence. 

“Oh look, Mulciber,” laughed Jamie, knowing she was pushing her luck, but happy that the boy’s attention was as far away from Lily as possible, “you learned from your past mistakes! Luckily, I’ve got a few more tricks up my sleeve.” She flicked her wand and within seconds, soap bubbles poured out of Mulciber’s mouth. “That’s for your dirty tongue.”

“Dirty?” spat Mulciber in between the bubbles. “You dare call me dirty, you _filthy queer._ You’re below even the dirtiest Mudbloods.” The words stung, Jamie couldn’t deny it or hide the pain from her face and she faltered. “That’s right, at least the Mudbloods have each other,” he continued. “You, on the other hand, are a freak of nature, destined to be alone, completely unlovable-”

He was cut off by a flash of light as he was hit square in the back by a body-binding curse. As Mulciber fell to the ground, Lily appeared behind him, her wand outstretched, a fiery explosion behind her eyes. 

“She’s not alone,” said Lily, loud and clear for the entire Great Hall. “She’ll never be alone.”

“Lily,” said Jamie quietly, her heart pounding furiously against her chest.

“And you’re wrong, Mulciber. It’s so easy to love Jamie. She lives her life with so much joy and compassion. She’s smarter than anyone I’ve ever met, but she plays it down with jokes that are so funny, you’ll be laughing at them for days. She’s loyal and brave and _so good._ It’s so easy to love Jamie.” She took a breath. “I love Jamie. I love you,” she said breathlessly. 

The words felt like magic. Jamie could barely process what Lily had said before she was met with Lily’s lips, kissing her with such ferocity that Jamie immediately forgot they were surrounded by the entire school. It lasted for an eternity and a second all at once, but eventually, they parted.

“I love you too,” said Jamie, shocked and amazed and happy. 

They stared at each other with matching grins, lost in their own happiness, exploding together into their futures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Fem!Jily February! I hope you enjoyed this addition to Lily and Jamie's story :)

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr @the-dream-team and make sure you check out @thejilyship for more fem!jily February goodness!


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